Time to Regroup

Where to begin?

You know the old saying "don't judge a book by it's cover". Well, that fits Ron well. Outwardly, he looks good, however if you look inside, you'd know how awful it really is the majority of the time. And how depressing it is to deal with this day after day after day!

The last couple of months have been quite the roller coaster...the highs of promising new ideas and the lows of hopes being dashed.

My sweet hubby has had some especially "dark days". I am so proud of my guy....it takes alot for him to come out and say, look things aren't going well and I'm really struggling here. He's not a complainer; and if you ask how he's doing he will typically say ok. The disappointment of hopeful changes, along with the increased mental fatigue from resuming classes, resulted in even more physical fatigue which really did a number on him. After much prayer and conferring with doctor, decision was made to step back and regroup.

You know how you feel when you have the worst flu ever...you can hardly function, you feel like you're in a mental fog, unable to focus on anything, you have no appetite and are just bone weary...well that's what he's been experiencing. And with the exceptional fatigue he's experiencing, he's definitely been regressing...feeling weak and rundown; no appetite, stomach churning along with nausea all day every day

He admits his number one priority needs to be on getting healthy but has been at a loss as to know how to go about this. After much prayer and conferring with doctor, they agreed it would be best if he dropped his classes this semester.

Right now, the overriding concern is his lack of sleep. Poor guy deals with so much reflux he gets no rest because he wakes up all night long choking. He can't take any kind of a sleep aid as this would dampen the automatic reflex to protect his airway (gagging/choking, then bolting to an upright position to keep things from coming up). If this reflex were to be dampened, he would aspirate with the potential of developing pneumonia or even literally suffocating due to blocked airway. Remember, due to a myriad of surgeries, procedures, etc. the flap between the esophagus and the stomach that should close to keep backflow from occurring is permanently open for him.

As of last Thursday, Ron has discontinued the latest medication and has backed off on eating (other than the fabulous fajitas at an anniversary celebration for some good friends today!) to see if he can get a little bit of a break. Although the new medication has helped a little, he may yak daily for 4-5 days and then have a break for a couple of days; the side effects have been troublesome.

So, there ya have it....may be more information than you'd like; but please use it as intended; to know how to specifically pray.

I've been listening to Beth Moore recently as she has been speaking on Isaiah 32:2 :

"Each man will be like a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm, like streams of water in the desert and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land"

And my thoughts turn to each of you. Thank you for loving us; as well as your willingness to stand in the gap and be a refuge to us during this stormy time of life.

Much love,
Christie

Long time no update...

...I know; but since I've started back to school (August 16) I feel I meet myself coming and going.
Ron's classes began last Monday. He is taking Algebra and English Lit and already the work is consuming a great deal of his time. It's been difficult for both of us to get back into the swing of things; actually, I'm not quite sure we're there yet!

Praise God for this three-day weekend! I took full advantage of the cooler weather to get some much-needed yard work done including trimming the shrubs; seeing this in type doesn't sound like much, but I tell ya, it was a beating! My right arm still feels like it's vibrating from the hedge trimmer and I have sore muscles in places that I never knew muscles existed! I was quite the taskmaster and even made Ron get out and help pick up the trimmings...poor guy, it wore him out!

But the highlight of the holiday was getting to spend time with our sweet girls. Oh, how we miss being with them on a regular basis!

On to the news I know you all really want...how is Ron doing? Well, we're excited to say his blood levels are staying consistent on the IV Lovenox and were just told last week that he can now go to anti-factor Xa checks every 6 weeks, yippee!!!! Even though he still has to have blood draws every 2 weeks to keep an eye on all other levels for TPN purposes; this is an encouraging step.

The new medication he began Aug 11 has helped some; he has gone a couple of different times for 5 days without yakking. WOO HOO!!! Unfortunately, this is usually followed by a spell of 3 or 4 days in a row of daily yakking. Very frustrating to him seeing as how there are no variables on the days he does or doesn't yak. It wouldn't be quite so discouraging if we could put a finger on what makes the difference. The trade off is the side effects from the medication. It leaves him feeling weaker, more lethargic than usual. We continue to remain hopeful and will take any good day we get.

We're constantly asked what we need...really, can't think of anything other than your continued prayer support and encouragement.

Specific things to pray for:

• longer stretches of time with no yakking; this is the only way his esophagus will heal
  
• increased strength and stamina
  
• consistent, dedicated time in prayer and Bible study; as life gets busy, this becomes the first thing to be neglected
  
• for my attitude; as I adjust to being back at work along with all the other responsibilities of being the primary caregiver and head of household duties; when I'm tired, I can get quite grumpy and say things I wish I could take back. For instance, after an extremely long week trying to juggle work, home, etc. I was frustrated with it all and blurted out "I want my husband back" Oh, how I wish I could take back those words! They were very hurtful and left Ron in quite a funk for a couple of days. I know he badly wishes to be his old self and would give anything to be able to do the things he used to do (even mundane household jobs) and to have me voice this was absolutely awful! Pray I will keep my tongue in check and when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I will vent to someone (anyone!) else.
  (I'm sure I must have burst a few bubbles here, I know most of you think I'm so sweet, kind, compassionate,...but I tell ya, God sees my heart and knows what I'm really all about. What? No burst bubbles? Was it just my wishful thinking that someone thought I was all these good things? Haha)
  
• And the biggie....as the new school year begins, so does our new insurance year... which means starting over with meeting all new deductibles, as well as increase in our premiums and increase in all co-pays. We know we'll have all Ron's maintenance medications, TPN and routine blood draws, but an otherwise a medically uneventful year would be fabulous!
  

So there you have it; the good, the bad and the ugly. It's humbling (and often embarrassing) to be so transparent but know this is what God has called us to and anything less would be lack of obedience on our part. Thanks for loving us in spite of who we really are!

Much love,
Christie


"And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others." 2 Cor 9:8 NLT

"What's more, I will be with you and will protect you wherever you go...I will be with you constantly until I have finished giving you everything I have promised." Genesis 28:15 NLT

"I said to the Lord, 'You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing' " Psalm 16:2 NIV